LPC 10 Medley 1
Ringing Happy Hucker. I have a... two-story battle cannon. It weighs forty-five thousand pounds. It's gunmetal gray. And um... No. I'm looking to sell it. I couldn't help you with that, sir. Is this a pawn store? What is this place? What's the name of this place here? The Happy Hucker. Okay. You wanna look at my cannon? You're going from like slow motion to fast motion to slow motion to fast motion. I can't understand you. I've got a battle cannon. You're not gonna-''' Battle- '''-believe your eyes when you see this thing. It's out of this world. You got another thing coming. You know, this thing is immense. I don't know what's going on with this connection .... it sounds like this you talk like this in a slowed down voice and noise..... Slow and then it's fast and I can't understand you. What about a 19 foot long taxidermied alligator? Like... you said you have an alligator and a cannon? I can't help you with either of those things. Well I am in a hot air balloon. I am landing, but I have the merchandise... Well everything you said so far I can't help you with. I'm from Alamogordo. Can't ya help me out er....... What do you think? I can't tell... No, sir. Not with those items. And wh- And what's this you're talking about? Moving in fast motion? I mean, once we meet, we can move forward, if that's what you mean. It's- it's your voice. It's going from like slow-motion to fast-motion to slow-motion to fast-motion. I can't understand. It sounds like you're on a recording. Like it's... All I've- All I've heard so far is an alligator and a cannon and I- I- I couldn't with that, sir- The whole thing is so heavy and it's slicker 'n snot, is what it is. Sir, you're not- Slicker 'n snot is what it is. I- I- I can't help you with that. I hear ya. ---------------------------------- Afternoon. Central City. Oooooooooooh yeeeeeeeeaaaaaah.'' I needed about a hundred limes if you could sell 'em to me. I'm up in Mason City.' Um... You're in Mason City and you want limes from me? You realize you're calling a liquor store in Des Moines? '''What can you do for me today,sir? This is Brian from Mason City.' Brian, go to the grocery store. You can get a hundred limes there. I'm in my car and I'm on my way right by ya. I don't have two hundred limes. One hundred. I don't have one hundred limes. Instead of sittin' here on the phone, why don't ya box 'em up and I'll come pick 'em up. Why don't ya pick 'em up on your way up the street, then. 'Cause you're gonna wipe me outta limes, and I don't even know who you are. My friend referred me to you. The grocery store is plum out. He said that you could hook me up. My friend Leland. I don't know any Lelands. I don't deal with anybody in Mason City. The problem is, if I give you a hundred limes, then I'm out of a hundred limes. If the grocery stores are out of a hundred limes, then obviously all my normal intown customers don't have any limes. I'm sorry, my man. I'll pay-''' But you're gonna have to somewhere else to find some limes. '''I'll pay double, triple what you're asking. I don't care. Because my regular customers who I deal with every single day won't get any limes. '''''My money's just as good as anybody else's. Not arguing with that my man. It's a very simple answer. I don't have a hundred for you. I- I-''' Call somebody else or go to the grocer store. ''I'm gonna cut you a check. It's gonna be fine.'' I'm sorry bud. ''Hey bud, listen up!'' Okay, chief. You call me again, I'm gonna call the cops. up -------------------------------------- Ringing 'What you peepin'? What you peepin'? ''Ooooohhhh Heeeeyyy Oooohhh Woooooooooo. What'chu peepin'? What did you say? I- I- I don't even know what you're saying. up -------------------------------------- Ringing Hi, my name is Skip from Yelp.com. What's your name? Uh... What is this call regarding? It's regarding negative feedback received for your company and... we are removing that and changing it into positive feedback. That's costing you a grand total of eight-hundred and twenty dollars. I don't think we're anywhere near interested in such a thing. We're in need of a credit card number today. You're not gonna get it. I don't know what your call is about. The negativity expressed about your company on Yelp.com. No, I can't... Ummm... We're not gonna give you any payment for this. And I don't appreciate your sales call at all. You owe me seven hundred dollars. No. I-..... No. Absolutely not. Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh sure. Oh sure. Oh sure. Ab- Yes. Yes. -solutely not. We're not con-... We're not uh... We're not hooked to Yelp.com. We're 100% connected. Oh... Uh... Mmmmm... No we're not. Why don't we do a video conference? Talk about the account? Can we get you into a satellite office, so we can put you on satellite TV? No! Okay, well then just read us your credit card number, ''okay?'' What are you talking about? I'm not going to read you any credit card number. Who- Who are you? I'm Skippy-''' I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not going to pay for something I I'm accepting any services for. '''Now now, read it to me slowly. Stop calling us. Read us your... We have absolutely no business with you whatsoever! I'm a-''' You must cease from calling this number. Everyone in this office says no business with you. Please stop calling. ----------------------------- Yello? '''Hi. Thanks for calling Satellite Country, your authorized Dish Network retailer, this is Brent, how can I help you? distorted Hi Brent. Interested in getting some TV service here, my name's Flip. electric guitar Okay, uh, Flip like F-L-I-P, like I can flip backward? Yeah. All right, and what's your last name? thrash metal riffs ''' Pretty interesting last name. laughs '''Li- Liquid. Liquid? Yes. All right, hang on just a second... metal guitar throughout So, you playing... is that you playing or is this someone else playing? I'm playing guitar while I'm waiting. laughs Nice. Very cool. So that's your real name, Flip Liquid, right? Correct. That's a pretty cool name. metal riff Okay, so, let's figure this out real quick... So-''' How many TVs are you looking to hook up, Flip? '''pitch Four. Four, gotcha. Four. Are they gonna be HD, like the flat screen HDTVs? LED screens. Okay, cool. I'm looking to hook up four LED screens. changes You've gotta be the most interesting phone call I've ever had, ah... I'm enjoying this more than anything. Seriously, you're making my day, this is awesome. I heard about the savings, I'm not sure if they are the way they say they are, or... Right. Okay, Flip, go ahead and let's have a credit card number. reverb I have got... Visa card... 465321763480910 lowers harshly What was the credit card number again? Which part do you need me to repeat? The whole thing. chuckles Eh... belching sounds throughout Alright, so it's a Visa card reverb 465355551328... expiration date 1345... Alright, and what's your Social Security number real quick? 62... Is that the first two numbers? 350... sounds Okay, Flip, I'm gonna have to disconnect if you can't, uh, if you can't speak clearly, I can't understand you, then there's no reason for me to try and get sold here. reading and angelic sounds continue through hang up Category:Do you have... Category:Medleys